Love and Consequences

I have been thinking on the importance of answering others in love in relation to our children, and in so doing, what was one of our grandson’s favorite children's stories came to mind. This story is entitled, I'll Always Love You, written by Paeony Lewis, and it is about a little bear cub who is afraid of how his mom will react to something he has done, so he seeks her out and starts plying her with the following types of questions.. “Mom, will you love me only if I'm good?... even if I've done something that isn't good? Her reply is always the same, “I'll always love you”. He needs further reassurance as he asks.. “What if I have a pillow fight with ….. and all the feathers burst out? Will you still love me? His mom then replies, “I'll always love you, though... you must pick up all the feathers”.. Even when his mom finally finds out her little one had broken her favorite honey bowl, he is reassured, not only with a big bear hug, but by her, “Of course, I'll always love you” response to his reminder, “You said you would still love me”.

Our children need to know we love them, regardless of the amount of grief they may cause us- whether intentional or not, and also no matter what age they may be. However, they too need to understand that there are consequences to pay for wrong actions- whether those actions are with the intention to cause pain or not. If we do not teach our little ones there are consequences to wrong actions, they may not be so conscientious as they grow older and at such a time as when their parents no longer have control over those consequences. The consequences with little ones’ wrong actions should be relatively small, however they do need to know that the older they get, the more severe the consequences to their actions may be.

In thinking on this, the story of Hophni and Phinehas comes to mind. We are told in 1 Samuel 2:17, that “.. the sin of the young men was very great in the sight of the LORD, for the men treated the offering of the LORD with contempt.” Contempt for the LORD's offering was not the only sin these young priests were rebuked for, In 1 Samuel 2:22, we read; “Now Eli was very old, and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting.” The effect of their immoral actions was to bring grief to their father and to dishonor God. Hophni and Phinehas paid no attention to their father's admonishment, as “..he said to them, 'Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. No, my sons; it is no good report that I hear the people of the LORD spreading abroad. If someone sins against a man, God will mediate for him, but if someone sins against the LORD, who can intercede for him? But they would not listen to the voice of their father” (1 Samuel 2:23-24, 25).

Eli should have actually removed his sons as priests, for their behavior was certainly not above reproach and by allowing them to continue in office Eli was honoring his sons above God. When we neglect our responsibility as parents toward our children, we suffer the consequences and when our children neglect their responsibility toward honoring their parents and God- they also will suffer the consequences.. We each are responsible for our own actions. This is God's response to Eli's failure to honor him above his sons, “..those who honor me I will honor, and those who despise me shall be lightly esteemed. Behold, the days are coming when I will cut off your strength and the strength of your father's house, so that there will not be an old man in your house.........And this that shall come upon your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, shall be the sign to you: both of them shall die on the same day. And I shall raise up for myself a faithful priest, who shall do according to what is in my heart and in my mind..” (1 Samuel 2:30-31, 34-35).

The consequences that Eli and his two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, suffered for dishonoring God were dire indeed. May it be our desire to honor God above all others, not just for our own sake, but for the sake of our children as well, “O that there were such a heart in (us), that (we) would fear God, and keep all (of His) commandments always, that it may be well with (us), and with (our) children for ever” (Deuteronomy 5:29).

Blessed are the Peace- makers

   In going through some older writings I came across a post that teaches us the importance of being a peace-maker. In 1 Samuel 25, we can read of the account of Nabal versus David. Nabal was a very rich man married to a woman named Abigail. We are told that Abigail was not only beautiful, but discerning, however her husband, Nabal, was “harsh and badly behaved”. In this account we learn of how David had been a wall of protection to Nabal's shepherds while they pastored their master's flocks in the wilderness, but when David sends some of his servants to Nabal to request some food for his men in exchange for their kindness, David's servants are treated very rudely and sent away empty handed.(vss.5-12) David is highly insulted at Nabal's treatment and his response is to tell every man to strap on their swords.. However, in God's providence, one of Nabal's young men told Abigail, “Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to greet our master, and he railed at them. Yet the men were very good to us, and we suffered no harm, and we did not miss anything when we were in the fields, as long as we went with them. They were a wall to us both by night and by day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep. Now therefore know this and consider what you should do, for harm is determined against our master and against all his house, and he is such a worthless man that one cannot speak to him” (! Samuel 25:14-17). 

 

    Then we can read of how Abigail wisely made haste and gathered together much food and laid it all on donkeys and then told her young men to go before her and she would follow them. Before they completed their errand, they were met by David and his men, who were also on an errand, but one of a different kind, as evidenced through David's comments, “Surely in vain have I guarded all that this fellow has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him, and he has returned me evil for good. God do so to the enemies of David and more also, if by morning I leave so much as one male of all who belongs to him” (1 Samuel 25:21- 22). When Abigail saw David, she hurried down from her donkey and fell at his feet and pled that he put the guilt of her husband on her as she had not seen the young men of David's come with their request.. She then implores him to accept the presents she had brought and asks for David's forgiveness, ending her speech with the following words, “And when the LORD has done to my lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you and has appointed you prince over Israel, my lord shall have no cause of grief or pangs of conscience for having shed blood without cause or for my lord taking vengeance himself. And when the LORD has dealt well with my lord, then remember your servant” (1 Sam. 25:30-31).

    This is David's response to Abigail's errand as peacemaker, “Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! Blessed be your discretion, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodguilt and from avenging myself with my own hand! For as surely as the LORD God of Israel lives, who has restrained me from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, truly by morning there had not been left to Nabal so much as one male.” Then David received from her hand what she had brought him. And he said to her, 'Go up in peace to your house. See, I have obeyed your voice, and I have granted your petition' ” (1 Sam. 25:32-35). 

 

    What a great example of not only the importance of being a peacemaker, but also of being willing to listen to the one who is attempting to bring peace between ourselves and another who we may be in conflict with. In Matthew 5:9 we are told, “Blessed are the peacemakers...” .

Showing Love versus Condoning Sin

Does showing the love of Christ to others mean we should show condone their sin? As always we must go to the scriptures to seek answers to our questions. I found the following references to be very helpful in this. In Ephesians 5:11 we read, “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, …….”; “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Would not acceptance (or any kind of support whatsoever) of this kind of behavior make it easier for those who practice such things to continue living in a way that will keep them out of God’s kingdom?

We know we are not to shun or treat those who live contrary to scripture’s teaching in any other way than to show them the kindness of Christ. We are to be compassionate and caring toward all, with no exceptions remembering that we, “who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present (us) holy and blameless and above reproach before him..” (Colossians 1:21-22).

We must understand however, that we can only have assurance of inheritance in God’s kingdom ourselves.. “ ..if indeed (we) continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that (we have) heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven..” (Colossians 1:23).

Being assured of our salvation does not give us license to sin, “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). If we use our freedom to sin we are not showing love, but rather gratifying the desires of the flesh, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God,” ( Galatians 5:16-22).

If we are engaged in any of the above activities, we need to heed the warnings of Ezekiel and, “Repent and turn from all your transgressions, lest iniquity be your ruin.” In Ezekiel 33:11 we are told that God does not delight in the death of the wicked, “‘As I live,’ says the Lord God, ‘I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live.” In Acts 2:38, Peter wrote, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

As those who have received the gift of the Holy Spirit, it will be our desire to see others come to repentance and experience the forgiveness of sins as well. Out of love “To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood” (Revelation 1:5), we will desire to see others turn from their former way of living and turn to Christ that they may experience new life in Him, whether they be “sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, homosexuals, thieves, those who are greedy, drunkards, revilers (or) swindlers.. etc.” Even though God shows great tolerance toward our sin, "And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved" (Ezra 9:13,  He does not accept our sinful behavior, nor condone it in any way. To show no support or acceptance toward sinful behavior, while at the same time showing love to the one exhibiting such behavior is to show a true Biblical love. This is the kind of love that God shows to us, and we are told to “..be imitators of God as beloved children” (Ephesians 5:1).

Dying to Self- That we Might Live

Many people think the Bible contains contradictions, but it really doesn’t. The Bible is full of what are called paradoxes. A paradox is a statement or proposition which on the face of it seems self-contradictory, absurd, or at variance with common sense; though, on investigation or when explained, it is proven to be well-founded. One of the paradox's we find in scripture is in Luke 17:33; “Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it”. This is an apparent contradiction; However, when we investigate further as to the scripture’s teaching, we find this verse truly makes sense. In John 12:25, we read, “Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” In other words, if we love the life we have on this earth and our goals and ambitions are all centered here, we will have our best life now- but we will not enjoy life for all of eternity- we most certainly will lose our life. If, however, our greatest ambition on this earth is to glorify God and store up treasure in heaven, then we will work toward that end by striving to be obedient to God’s word. Rather than working toward accumulating and enjoying earthly comforts and pleasures in this present life, our desire will be to become more and more like Christ and to point others to Him, and in so doing- store up our treasure in heaven, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21).

In thinking on the necessity of losing our life in order to gain it, we can go to Mark 8:35, where we read that, “..whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it.” In other words, we must be willing to give our all for the sake of the Kingdom. Jesus said, “If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servants be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him” (John 12: 26). If we truly follow after Christ, His steps lead us to a cross. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me”. If we are not willing to daily take up our cross, we are not ready to lose our life for Christ’s sake; we are not willing to deny ourselves any earthly comfort or pleasure, if need be, for the sake of the gospel. If we truly love Him, we will desire to give our all for Him- in the way that He gave his all for us, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you,” (John 15:12-14).

We are clearly told that we are not promised an easy life on this earth as Jesus’ followers, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Even though we won’t likely have to suffer as many or severe hardships as Paul did, ( see 2 Corinthians 11:24-26), if we are in Christ, we still will suffer for the sake of the gospel, and in so doing, we must endure our trials as Paul did, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

For Christ’s sake, we must be willing to work wholeheartedly, serving our Lord, in obedience to His word, knowing there is an inheritance that awaits us, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24). What a privilege and honor to serve the One who (on our behalf), “came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).

Positive Results through Seeking God

    I recall a past experience of having a dear friend point out something to me that she seemed sure I would be offended at and then she ended our correspondence with the following words, “still love me”? After reassuring her that I did not take offense and also of my love for her, I got thinking on how that interaction could have ended vastly different. However, because my desire is to love God with all my heart and others as myself, and this friend has expressed this same desire in any contact I have had with her, I could view the comments she made as coming from the good intentions of her heart and not take offense. I got thinking on how we can only expect good results from such situations if both parties are desirous of seeking God with all their heart and loving others as themselves. However, if one or the other or both are not seeking God diligently, we cannot expect admonishments, even when given with good intent, to be met with a positive result. The following account from scripture is a good illustration of this. 

    In 2 Chronicles 14, we can read of Asa, who started out as a good king, and who sought the LORD for help throughout most of his reign. It was evident he was relying on the LORD when Zerah, the Ethiopian came out against them with his vast army, and Asa cried to the LORD his God, “O LORD, there is none like you to help, between the mighty and the weak. Help us, O LORD our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this multitude. O LORD, you are our God; let not man prevail against you” (2 Chron.14:9-11). God honored Asa for his trust in Him, and, “So the LORD defeated the Ethiopians before Asa and before Judah, and the Ethiopians fled” (vs. 12). In 2 Chronicles 15 we can read where Azariah admonishes Asa and the people saying, “Hear me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin: The LORD is with you while you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you” (2 Chronicles 15:2). After Asa heard these words, he “took courage and put away the detestable idols from all the land...” We can then read of how the people “swore an oath to the LORD.... and they “rejoiced over the oath, for they had sworn with all their heart and had sought him with their whole desire, and he was found by them, and the LORD gave them rest all around”(vss. 14-15)... and there was no more war until the thirty-fifth year of Asa's reign. The king and the people experienced peace as long as both were seeking God “with their whole desire”. However, peace did not prevail throughout the entire period of Asa's reign unfortunately, because the king turned from seeking God with all his heart the last few years of his life.

     Scripture tells us that in the 36^th year of Asa's reign, he failed to seek God with all his heart and a seer named Hanani came to confront him on this, telling him, “Because you relied on the king of Syria, and did not rely on the LORD your God, the army of the king of Syria has escaped you. Were not the Ethiopians and the Libyans a huge army with very many chariots and horsemen? Yet because you relied on the LORD, he gave them into your hand. For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. You have done foolishly in this, for from now on you will have wars” (2 Chronicles 16:7-9).

     Had Asa been seeking God with all his heart at this time, he should have been convicted by Hanani's words and repented, but instead, “Asa was angry with the seer and put him in the stocks in prison, for he was in a rage with him because of this. And Asa inflicted cruelties upon some of the people at the same time” (vs. 10). Asa's reactions to Hanani's words were definitely not above reproach. Unfortunately, there will be times that we also cannot expect to have positive reactions from others if we are in a position of confronting them with wrong behavior, or even gently admonishing them in some matter. The only way we can expect others to react in a positive manner to admonishment, is if both parties are on the same page spiritually- seeking God with all their heart and desiring to show their love for Him and to others...by living lives that are above reproach. If we react in a way that is contrary to scripture's teaching, we are displaying pride within our heart. However, “..what does the LORD require of (us) but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with (our) God” (Micah 6:8). If we find ourselves reacting in pride to others admonishment- we need to repent.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder - or to Wander!

I have been thinking on the importance of consistently spending time in God’s presence through prayer and the study of His word. We have probably all heard the familiar saying, ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ While it is possible for absence to make the heart grow fonder,’ it is more likely that as time passes, it will make the heart to ‘wander’ (but for the grace of God). Even worse than wandering, absence can make the heart grow hardened.

In pursuing an earthly relationship, we get to know another better through conversing together or writing back and forth. God reveals all we need to know about Him through the Holy Scriptures. If we would desire a right relationship with Him, we must do so through His word and seeking Him in prayer. No relationship can be one sided. Second Chronicles 15:2 tells us that “If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.”

We must understand that seeking God is active, while forsaking Him is inactive. Neglecting to study God’s word and spend time in prayer is all it takes to forsake God. Only those who truly love Him will be motivated to pursue a right relationship with Him. If we do not actively seek Him, then we evidently do not truly love Him. Proverbs 8:17 reads, “I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.”

A good example of one who started out living faithfully is found in the story of Joash, “And Joash did what was right in the eyes of the Lord all the days of Jehoiada the priest” (2 Chronicles 24:2). Jehoiada was a man who feared God and helped steer the king in following the LORD, “And Jehoiada made a covenant between himself and all the people and the king that they should be the Lord's people” (2 Chronicles 23:16). However, after Jehoiada’s death Joash allowed himself to be influenced by ungodly companions, “Now after the death of Jehoiada the princes of Judah came and paid homage to the king. Then the king listened to them. And they abandoned the house of the Lord, the God of their fathers, and served the Asherim and the idols”(2 Chronicles 24:17). Hence the importance of keeping company with those who would encourage us in the ways of the Lord.

The consequences of failure to seek God diligently are dire indeed, “And wrath came upon Judah and Jerusalem for this guilt of theirs” (2 Chronicles 24: 18). May we not be guilty of refusing to pay heed to the warnings God sends our way as Joash was after Jehoiada’s death,“Yet he sent prophets among them to bring them back to the Lord. These testified against them, but they would not pay attention” (2 Chronicles 24:18-19). Hebrews 3:15 tells us, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”

If we neglect to spend time in God’s word, drawing near to Him, and allow others to influence us in a negative way, our first love for God will grow cold. It is imperative that we not let anything or anyone stand in the way of our relationship with God, which should be first and foremost above all others, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5).

God is faithful, He will do as he has promised. James 4:7-8 tells us to “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” May we be motivated to draw near to God daily, seeking Him in prayer and through the study of His word.

To Resist or to Reconcile

I've been thinking about the importance of reconciliation lately. In thinking on this I wondered how often reconciliation is made impossible due to the discomfort we experience at the thought of confronting someone we have an issue with- or someone we feel may have a problem with us. Unfortunately, too many times we may resist making the effort to try and reconcile with the offending person. It is imperative that the one who feels they have been wronged confront the one they believe has wronged them. To confront one with the desire to reconcile does not mean reconciliation will always take place, but not to confront one with the desire for reconciliation means it will definitely not take place. The hope should always be for reconciliation- regardless of whether or not that hope is realized, we must be obedient to scripture.

If reconciliation is sought- I wonder how many times out of ten the one wronged would come to realize that things were not what they perceived them to be? Perhaps there were assumptions made that proved to be unfounded or perhaps the offended person had been listening to gossip or slander of the person they felt had wronged them. Sometimes we may take offense at something we have heard about an individual without them even saying or doing anything to personally cause us pain; and because we take offense- we end up distancing ourselves from them. We must determine that if we find ourselves in such a position – to go to the 'offender' and clear the air so that reconciliation can take place. If we are unwilling to do this- there can be no reconciling. As uncomfortable as it may be, we must be willing to confront those who offend us - “if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” (Matthew 18:15): “.. if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24). 

 God wants more than anything- our obedience, and if we are unwilling to reconcile with those who have offended against us- then we are being disobedient to the clear teaching of scripture, “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments” (1 John 5:2).. “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation..” (2 Corinthians 5:18).