Another Type of Abuse

Usually when we think of the term abuse, we think of physical or sexual abuse, and as horrible and harmful as those types of abuse are, we need to be aware that there is another type of abuse that is crippling our families, as well as our churches, and many people are not even aware of it. Only those who have felt the brunt of its damaging effects can attest to how distressing and oppressive this kind of abuse can be. I am referring to spiritual abuse- which I had not even heard tell of until the last couple of years. 

 

“Spiritual abuse occurs when someone in a position of spiritual authority– (the purpose of which is to ‘come underneath’ and serve, build, equip and make God’s people more free) –misuses that authority by placing themselves over God’s people to control, coerce or manipulate them for seemingly godly purposes which are really their own.”

“The perpetrators of spiritual abuse are rarely”..the sort.. “of characters who announce that they are going to drain your spiritual energy. They may be people who seem like they are seeking to guide you to the deepest levels of spiritual maturity.”

 

“In reality, such leaders want to control the people underneath them, and the easiest way to do this is to point out their sins (or supposed sins) and show how worthless and hopeless they are. This keeps people dependent on the intercession and teaching of the leader. Healthy leaders, on the other hand, recognize the role of grace in salvation and understand that all believers are sinners in need of mercy, patience, and understanding. We all wear checkered garments on the way to glory”.

“Spiritually abusive groups use church discipline passages as an excuse to punish current members or to shun ex-members. They use church discipline to keep people in line, to quell disagreement (which they call “rebellion”), and as a threat against critical thinking (which they call “pride”)..... In contrast, healthy leaders use church discipline only in serious matters of major unrepentant sin, (matters where the blatant breaking of the ten commandments is visible). And they understand that the goal of such corrective measures is restoration, not punishment.”

“Jesus recognized the burden that was being placed on sincere believers in His time, who just wanted to do what was right; “....he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36). “Not having a shepherd didn't mean that the people lacked for those who told them what to do”, he continues. “There were plenty of Pharisees willing to do that. It meant they had no one to lead them to spiritual green pastures.....A shepherd leads his sheep to a safe place where food is plentiful and where they can find rest. Around the world, hurting churches struggle to earn the favor and approval of a modern-day Pharisee, all the while thinking they are earning the favor of God”.

“Biblical evidence: While the term “spiritual abuse” does not occur in the Bible (nor does the word “Trinity,” for that matter), the concept is clearly alluded to. Primary biblical citations which discuss spiritual abuse include Ezekiel 34:1-10; Matthew 20:25; 23:1-33; Luke 22:24-27; and 1 Peter 5:3. Each of these passages involves God condemning leaders who mistreat the people under their care in order to promote their own welfare or ideology.”

In his book, Exposing Spiritual Abuse, Mike Fehlauer points out that Jesus saw these dear people as harassed: “This word conveys the idea of some outside force pressing upon the people, causing them to feel weary, distressed and downcast. This outside force was the religious system that placed its emphasis on outward appearances. It was a system that promised peace based on one's ability to follow the prescribed rules and regulations. If one failed, there was judgment”.

The information listed here is taken from 2 different sites: 1.) entitled; Ten Symptoms of Spiritual Abuse, and 2.) Beware of Spiritual Abuse.

We need to remember it is our love for one another that shows the world we are Christians, (John 13:34-35). If the leader of our church is making us feel that there is a reason we should not be showing love to any one person or group of people, (inside or outside of the church we attend,) we should start questioning if we might not be sitting under a spiritually abusive leader, (1 John 4:20-21). As tragic as it is when even one person suffers from the destructive influence of any kind of abuse, we need to understand that an abusive religious leader will have a destructive influence over so many more people of varying ages, all at once, both emotionally and spiritually. 

 

I know of one situation where the church leaders manipulated a member into leaving and removed this person's membership. Then a couple of years later, the new leadership claimed they had the God-given right -because they had been given the 'keys of the kingdom' (clearly taking scripture out of context) -to reinstate this person's membership (without their consent), to that church again, for the purpose of discipline, (by banning this person from the “table”). They called a church meeting- where this person was then openly slandered, evily spoken of (1 Peter 2:1), and charged with, (what to them was the ultimate sin-of) not submitting to their authority, (Galatians 2:4-6). The term they used for this was contumacy. The people attending the meeting were then informed of the leaders' decision to excommunicate this person. They used Titus 3:9-10 for their reason, clearly taking it out of context, as this passage warns about men who were teaching heresy. (This person had nothing to do with teaching). The members were then cautioned against having anything to do with this person, (which is shunning), (James 2:8-9). 

 

You may think the above situation sounds rather bizarre, more like something you would expect from a cult, or see in a movie, but unfortunately, similar such happenings occur more often than you might think, and in many main line so called 'churches'. We truly need to have a right understanding of the teaching of scripture in regard to how we should be living as Christians in a fallen world where (we must realize) the leaders are fallible, (Psalm 146: 3-7) and even susceptible to such evil practices as distorting the Word of God, (Deuteronomy 4:2; Revelation 22:18-19) in order to suit their own purposes. We need to be discerning as to what we are being taught, and we need to understand the clear teaching of scripture in regard to those who are weak and oppressed, “Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy” (Proverbs 31:9). 

 Abusive religious leaders distort the image of a good and loving God, and only ones who are truly Christian would be able to survive their oppressive behavior. One who does not have a personal relationship with Christ could not stand up to such tyranny. That is what makes it so horrific. There are many poor and needy (in need of Christ) out there who are being driven from churches and away from any desire to know God. Can you imagine the damaging and destructive effect this kind of abuse could be to one who has already experienced abuse of another kind to begin with, (Ezekiel 34:4-5)? To turn a blind eye to such situations is not doing anyone any favors- rather, it allows the abuse to continue, giving leeway for many more people to be effected and hurt. The longer things like this go on- the more wide-spread and greater the consequences. 

 

It is time Christians started standing up for what is right and Biblical. If after having read this, you feel concern, and want to do something- Please share this post. People need to be aware of the crippling effects of abuse, and the necessity of exposing all types of it, for the sake of everyone involved; the victims, the abusers, and for the sake of the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen