Recently
I have been
reading “Competent to Counsel”, by Jay Adams -- a book said to
have “helped
thousands of pastors, students, laypersons, and Christian counselors
develop both a general approach to Christian counseling and a
specific response to particular problems”.
In
this book I came upon
"Mary", a
young lady diagnosed as manic-depressive and confined to a mental
institution. Mary was said to have developed a
technique
which effectively
camouflaged
her and kept hidden
the problem truly plaguing her. This
technique was to drown out everyone around her, so they would leave
her alone.
Just as a child may
scream
in order to get their
own way,
so Mary
screamed
to get what SHE
wanted, which was for
everyone to leave
her alone and not question her actions.
When
counselors got
close to putting a finger on the real problem in Mary’s life (which
turned out to be adultery), she began to cry and scream at the top of
her lungs. She sobbed uncontrollably and begged to be left alone. In
the past, it was said,
this tactic had been very effective.
Mary's screaming and
crying
had always warded off
attempts by family and
others seeking to discern the true reason for her distress. However,
counselors in the
institution were
not going to fall for
it.
Instead, they looked her right in the eye and admonished her to be
quiet, making clear that they could be of no help to her whatsoever
if she didn’t stop with her nonsense and tell them what her problem
was. Basically, they said to her, “Surely
a young girl like you doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life in
this institution. We know you have real problems, and we know that
there is something wrong in your life. Now let’s talk..”
Brushing aside the camouflage
and pursuing a straight course to the
heart of the matter, the counselors stood firm in their
resolve to talk and work things out. When Mary
realized her antics were of no effect,
she turned them off and gave in
-- telling them her whole miserable story.
Because the counselors dealt
appropriately with her self-protective tactics, she was able to
honestly face her problems and find help in confession and change.
Before the counselors could help Mary, they had to deal with her
inappropriate behavior.
As I ponder over this story,
I wonder how many others
(both young and old)... in mental institutions or not...
could be helped if their situations were addressed
in an appropriate manner. If, instead of trying to ignore
their problems, they would face those problems head on. Problems
which inevitably come down to a problem of the heart, by the way. A
problem called "sin".
The
heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can
know it” (Jeremiah 17:9)?
In
Psalm
139:23, the
Psalmist wrote,
“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
And
in Psalm
94:10-12 we
read, “He
who teaches man knowledge—the Lord—knows
the thoughts of man, that they are but a breath. Blessed
is the man whom you discipline, O Lord,
and whom you teach out of your law,”
If we were focused on God
and His glory (which should be of utmost importance to those who
profess to know Christ), we would not give in to the various tactics
others use in order to get their way. We would be more focused on
helping them, by steering them to God’s word and praying the Holy
Spirit would do a work in their hearts in order to instill in them a
desire to exhibit correct behavior according to scripture’s
teaching.
In Jay Adam's book, "Competent to Counsel",
it is made clear, “Counseling
is the work of the Holy Spirit. Effective counseling cannot be done
apart from him.” The statement is
made that, “Counseling, to be
Christian, must be carried on in harmony with the regenerating and
sanctifying work of the Spirit.”
We must understand that we can do no good apart from the power of
Christ at work within us. It is the Spirit who convicts men of sin
and the Spirit alone who can bring about a true godly repentance and
healing. 2 Corinthians 3:18 reads;
“And
we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are
being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to
another. For this
comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
May we truly seek God’s
wisdom (through his word) in knowing how to deal with inappropriate
behavior in an appropriate manner in order to help those around us
who are evidently in need of the help and healing that only He can
bring.
“For
the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged
sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and
of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart”
(Hebrews 4:12).
