Love and Consequences

I have been thinking on the importance of answering others in love in relation to our children, and in so doing, what was one of our grandson’s favorite children's stories came to mind. This story is entitled, I'll Always Love You, written by Paeony Lewis, and it is about a little bear cub who is afraid of how his mom will react to something he has done, so he seeks her out and starts plying her with the following types of questions.. “Mom, will you love me only if I'm good?... even if I've done something that isn't good? Her reply is always the same, “I'll always love you”. He needs further reassurance as he asks.. “What if I have a pillow fight with ….. and all the feathers burst out? Will you still love me? His mom then replies, “I'll always love you, though... you must pick up all the feathers”.. Even when his mom finally finds out her little one had broken her favorite honey bowl, he is reassured, not only with a big bear hug, but by her, “Of course, I'll always love you” response to his reminder, “You said you would still love me”.

Our children need to know we love them, regardless of the amount of grief they may cause us- whether intentional or not, and also no matter what age they may be. However, they too need to understand that there are consequences to pay for wrong actions- whether those actions are with the intention to cause pain or not. If we do not teach our little ones there are consequences to wrong actions, they may not be so conscientious as they grow older and at such a time as when their parents no longer have control over those consequences. The consequences with little ones’ wrong actions should be relatively small, however they do need to know that the older they get, the more severe the consequences to their actions may be.

In thinking on this, the story of Hophni and Phinehas comes to mind. We are told in 1 Samuel 2:17, that “.. the sin of the young men was very great in the sight of the LORD, for the men treated the offering of the LORD with contempt.” Contempt for the LORD's offering was not the only sin these young priests were rebuked for, In 1 Samuel 2:22, we read; “Now Eli was very old, and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting.” The effect of their immoral actions was to bring grief to their father and to dishonor God. Hophni and Phinehas paid no attention to their father's admonishment, as “..he said to them, 'Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. No, my sons; it is no good report that I hear the people of the LORD spreading abroad. If someone sins against a man, God will mediate for him, but if someone sins against the LORD, who can intercede for him? But they would not listen to the voice of their father” (1 Samuel 2:23-24, 25).

Eli should have actually removed his sons as priests, for their behavior was certainly not above reproach and by allowing them to continue in office Eli was honoring his sons above God. When we neglect our responsibility as parents toward our children, we suffer the consequences and when our children neglect their responsibility toward honoring their parents and God- they also will suffer the consequences.. We each are responsible for our own actions. This is God's response to Eli's failure to honor him above his sons, “..those who honor me I will honor, and those who despise me shall be lightly esteemed. Behold, the days are coming when I will cut off your strength and the strength of your father's house, so that there will not be an old man in your house.........And this that shall come upon your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, shall be the sign to you: both of them shall die on the same day. And I shall raise up for myself a faithful priest, who shall do according to what is in my heart and in my mind..” (1 Samuel 2:30-31, 34-35).

The consequences that Eli and his two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, suffered for dishonoring God were dire indeed. May it be our desire to honor God above all others, not just for our own sake, but for the sake of our children as well, “O that there were such a heart in (us), that (we) would fear God, and keep all (of His) commandments always, that it may be well with (us), and with (our) children for ever” (Deuteronomy 5:29).